The "Nair" factor !

This post owes its conceptualization to Mr.Shashi Tharoor and his recent tweets about Delhi Nair Service Society(NSS). The particular comments about remarkable work done by Delhi chapter of NSS and their non-communal nature got me thinking..

I was brought up in a world of social fabric that resonated the term "Nair" from each and every nook and corner. My parents have always been proud members and responsible administrators of the local chapter of NSS. A major chunk of my mother's friends are her counterparts there. So, inevitably, I have been a passive witness and faithful audience to their activities all my life.

The ability of this group to remain financially independent and socially active throughout these years has impressed me. The credit goes to their sense of pride in being a Nair. For example, a remarkable annual event held by these folks is the distribution of school uniforms and books to the economically backward students of a local NSS school. But on the other hand, what has always disappointed me is their false sense of restriction in utilizing this power to the maximum, that also seemed to have prevailed over the years. Consequently, this chapter has turned out to be yet another forum for like-minded people who are united by their strong sense of 'caste-hood' to socialize, more or less.

Given the impressive count of supporters and activists, they can go a long way in improving current state of affairs so as to have a better way of life. This could be a perfect platform to inculcate the change at grass root level. There are numerous things to consider in this respect. For one, the boundary of caste and religion should be confined to being a mode of unification for the members. They should be able to view a problem, be it educational, social, economic, moral or political, in its entirety; rather than have their vision clouded. Easier said than done; this is where the comment on non-communal nature of Delhi NSS chapter held my attention. It is essential to have frequent and effective communication between the numerous branches of NSS that span across India, for two reasons. One, as I mentioned, it helps people view things from a broad perspective. Secondly, it facilitates execution with minimal effort, given that the same path has been tread before.

Another matter of concern is the noticeable absence of young minds in this initiative. While in my early teens, I was asked to take up the responsibility of children's wing for the local NSS chapter- I still remember delivering a speech(rather, an ex-tempore) about how I will strive to keep up the heritage and develop a strong social sense in my fellow friends :-) All the while, I just had one thought nagging me- why am I here and not in the youth wing, instead? Later, I realised there was no youth wing in place to accomodate me, since I was the only willing soul. So, what keeps the youth away from such a venture ? Difference in fundamental beliefs of the organization or lack of need to be a part of the same ? Primarily, it could be a lack of vision. If this system has to be sustained for years to come, it is crucial to develop a sense of direction and a long-term vision that youth of today can identify with and work towards.

Ending note: A recent rally held by NSS in Trivandrum achieved its target- display of their sheer strength in terms of manpower. Questions remain, though: for the same amount of planning and resources that went into it, couldn't there have been a more constructive outcome that made a better impact ? Couldn't there have been an outcome that projected this enormous association for its ideals and capability to bring about a positive change in the society? Earlier we find detailed answers to these questions, earlier the realization that this organization is being hugely wasted and earlier we decide to do something about it before all of it withers away for good, the better.

Love

It is suicidal to love one who doesn't respect your feelings- someday, the dagger of insensitivity will slice through your heart, leaving you to bleed forever..

But we don't really think about it when we do fall in love, do we ? Maybe, hence the phrase, "falling in love". We fall first and lying down there, we start wondering what have we got ourselves into.. Falling in love is easy. Realization is slightly more difficult. Toughest part is making it happen. It is one thing to claim "I am in love ! World looks so much better today !" and yet another thing to convert it to a successful relationship.

I have always wondered- what is most crucial in the evolution of a good relationship? I wouldn't prefer the term "happy"; a relation is not about being happy 24X7, as much as it is about accepting lows and working your way through it. So, does a mutual feeling of intense like/need suffice? Personally, I believe it does. When two people want each other so badly, rest of their lives automatically fall into place. But then, it is purely dependent on your level of innate pragmaticism. The most common so-called pragmatic evil that I have known is the "social differences". "Hey, my neighbor's uncle's cat wont be happy if we are together !"- might be a little too self-damaging, I feel.

In a country like India, anyone and everyone are different from the other, in terms of religion/caste/sub-caste/economic strata/XYZ...Given, these things do matter to an extent. But many of them are wrongly perceived to be static and pre-defined in a person. For example, caste system prevailed in ancient Hindu society as a classifying factor of profession practised by respective members. Is that the same situation today? Do we stick to the ideologies/principles/rules that form the crux of our birth caste? Guess not. Then, why judge a person based on it? An individual's knowledge depth about Vedas and Upansihads might be really good but is a soldier in Army, a warrior destined to protect our nation; He might belong to some caste by birth that had nothing to do with either of the above-mentioned aspects. How relevant is it now?

When you take the relationship to the next level, your family comes into scene. A marriage creates a new bond between two families; it is important to be considerate of their feelings and expectations. But, there should be a balance. Giving up your life and going ahead to make your folks happy might just be what it is- a momentary or rather illusionary scene of happiness that you create for people around you. When and IF it blows up on your face later on, the sheer purpose is defeated. After all, your family who cares about you more than everything else, wouldn't want to see you failed in life ?

Coming back to my starting statement, never scorn at a person's feelings for you. It is but natural that you might not reciprocate it always. But, never question it or explicitly slam it as rubbish. For all you know, your sense of humor might be the villain; but the damage it causes to other person is huge and lasting. It might be few words spent for you, but it might be a life-time of pain for another. Be respectful of one's feelings; else, someday you might realise it the hard way, when you are at the other end..Trust me, it is important. Life is too short to be spent getting hit for such mistakes you make !

P.S:- Sincere apologies if any sentiments are hurt. Not intended at all. Also, as much as I am stubborn about my views/opinions usually, I do make a sincere attempt to be open about and understand others' ideas about the same :-). So, do feel free to let me know what you think..